EP077: Diabetes Stigma Is Real — How To Shift From Judgment to Curiosity
You don't owe anyone an explanation for your health choices.
Have you ever felt like someone was watching your plate at a party? Or maybe a nurse called you "non-compliant" and it stung for days. If so, you already know what diabetes stigma feels like. Amber and Richie sat down this week to talk about it — and honestly, it's a conversation that's long overdue.
What Is Diabetes Stigma, Really?
Diabetes stigma is the judgment, blame, and shame that gets placed on people simply for having a health condition. It shows up in small comments ("Are you allowed to eat that?") and big ones ("You did this to yourself"). Amber has heard it all in her 23+ years as a diabetes educator.
"A diabetes diagnosis is not public property," Amber says. Your blood sugar numbers, your food choices, and your treatment plan are yours. Nobody else gets a vote.
Why "Non-Compliant" Needs to Go
Richie asked Amber a simple question: what's the one word she wishes she could delete from healthcare forever?
Her answer: non-compliant.
Here's the problem with that word:
It tells you what happened (a missed dose, a skipped appointment)
It never tells you why it happened
It puts all the blame on the patient — and none of the curiosity
Was it cost? Fear? Confusion about instructions? A crazy week at work? "Non-compliant" doesn't ask. It just judges.
Your A1C Is Not a Report Card
One of the biggest "aha" moments in this episode is simple but powerful: your A1C is data, not a grade.
It reflects your average blood sugar over about three months. That's it. It doesn't measure:
How hard you tried
How much you love your family
Your worth as a person
When we treat A1C like a school grade, we turn a health number into a moral judgment. That's not fair, and it's not accurate either.
Type 1 vs. Type 2: There's No Winner
Sometimes people compare Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes like it's a competition — who has it "worse," who "deserves" more sympathy. Amber and Richie shut this idea down fast.
Both conditions come with real physical and emotional weight. Both deserve compassion. There is no prize for suffering more, and comparing pain never helped anyone feel better.
A Grandmother, A Birthday Party, and a Broken Heart
Amber shared a story that stuck with Richie — and it might stick with you too.
A grandmother skipped her granddaughter's 5th birthday party. Why? She was terrified of judgment around the cake and food at the party. The shame was so strong, she chose to miss a memory with her grandchild instead of facing it.
This is what diabetes stigma actually costs people. It's not just hurt feelings. It's missed birthdays, skipped medications, and silence when someone needs support the most.
Curiosity Beats Judgment Every Time
So what's the fix? Amber's answer is refreshingly simple: swap judgment for curiosity.
Instead of asking "What's wrong with you?" try asking "What happened?"
A high glucose reading isn't a failure — it's a clue.
A skipped walk isn't laziness — it might be pain, exhaustion, or grief.
A missed dose isn't defiance — it might be fear or cost.
Amber compares it to being a detective, not a judge. Detectives investigate. Judges just decide who's guilty.
Agency Is Not the Same as Blame
This episode also draws an important line between two ideas that get confused all the time:
Agency means you have the power to make choices about your health.
Blame means you're being punished or shamed for those choices.
You can have agency over your diabetes without carrying guilt for every number on the meter. Both things can be true at once: your choices matter, AND you deserve compassion.
You Deserve Support, Not Surveillance
If you've ever felt like family members, coworkers, or even strangers were monitoring your plate, you're not imagining it. Concern can slide into surveillance fast — and it's okay to set a boundary.
Some simple boundary phrases Amber and Richie discussed:
"I've got this handled, thank you."
"I'd rather not talk about my food right now."
"My doctor and I are managing this together."
You don't owe anyone an explanation for your health choices.
What You Can Do This Week
Here's a small challenge from the episode:
Notice one moment this week when you judge yourself for a glucose number.
Swap that judgment for curiosity. Ask "what happened?" instead of "what's wrong with me?"
Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that their A1C is not a character assessment.
Ready for a Shame-Free Plan?
If you're tired of strict rules, guilt, and judgment around your diabetes, we built something for you. Download our free Type 2 and Prediabetes Remission Roadmap and get a simple, compassionate plan to help lower your A1C and feel your best — without the shame.
👉Get your free Remission Roadmap here
Take courage! You can do this, and we can help.
Disclaimer: The information in this blog post and podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and it does not replace a one-on-one relationship with your physician or qualified healthcare professional. Always talk with your doctor, pharmacist, or care team before starting, stopping, or changing any medication, supplement, exercise plan, or nutrition plan—especially if you have diabetes, prediabetes, heart, liver, or kidney conditions, or take prescription drugs like metformin or insulin. Results vary from person to person. Examples, statistics, or studies are shared to educate, not to promise outcomes. Any discussion of medications, dosing, or side effects is general in nature and may not be appropriate for your specific situation. Do not ignore professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you read or heard here. If you think you are experiencing an emergency or severe side effects (such as persistent vomiting, severe diarrhea, signs of dehydration, allergic reaction, or symptoms of lactic acidosis), call your local emergency number or seek urgent care right away. We strive for accuracy, but health information changes over time. We make no guarantees regarding completeness, timeliness, or suitability of the content and assume no liability for actions taken or not taken based on this material. Use of this content is at your own risk. Links or references to third-party resources are provided for convenience and do not constitute endorsement. By reading, listening, or using this information, you agree to these terms and understand that you are responsible for your own health decisions in partnership with your licensed healthcare provider."
